He’s Your Best Friend, Not Your Only Friend

Marriage Tayler Beede March 13, 2014

Best Friends ForeverI married my best friend.

No really, I did. And I hope you did too. But when I think of “best friends,” I picture being in middle school again, and having that best friend that I spent all of my time with. We had inside jokes, we we spend all of our weekends hanging out, and we didn’t really hang out with anyone other than each other.

That’s great and all, but spending every waking moment with the same person isn’t the best thing for your friendship. Don’t isolate yourselves! Here are three reasons why:

1. You both get to keep your hobbies

It’s OK to have separate hobbies. You probably don’t share the same exact interests as your husband. There are things you enjoy doing that he doesn’t, and vice versa. That’s OK. It’s important to find common interests, and even stretch yourself and enjoy new things with your husband. But if he loves skiing with his friends and you love antiquing with yours, go for it!

Kyle loves disc golf. I’m kind of terrible at it. I’m trying to get better, but he really enjoys going out on a sunny afternoon and playing a few rounds with his friends. I often use that time to blog or hang out with a friend. When I come home from a few hours with girlfriends, I feel refreshed. And when he’s able to stay in touch with his friends (and stay up on his mad disc-golf skills), he feels much happier.

2. You stay in touch with friends

Your relationships with God and your husband should always come first. But you don’t have to lose your friends along the way! I have a couple close friends that I’ve known for years and years, and I don’t want those friendships to die off because I never wanted to spend time away from Kyle. Time away (if even for a few hours) makes me even happier to see him when I come home. Plus, it allows him to spend time with his own friends!

2. You don’t miss out on girl talk

I really did try to think of a less-cheesy way to say “girl talk,” but—obviously—no avail.

Sometimes gal friends just understand how you’re feeling better than your husband ever could. And expecting him to know exactly where you’re coming from just isn’t practical. I love hanging out and chatting with my husband, but sometimes mindless girl talk is fun too! You relate over the same woes, laugh at old memories, and just hang out. You come home feeling happy and relaxed. It’s wonderful!

The more laid-back you are about him hanging out with friends, the better the chances are that he’ll be all for you having a girl’s night (or weekend!). It’s all about what’s best for you and your husband. If you’d like some time with your friends, that can be healthy! If he wants to hang out with his friends, don’t give him flack for it.

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