I would like to share a simple truth that can do wonders in your marriage. It might sound small, but it is actually huge and very near to your wife’s heart. She needs to know you are on her side. No matter what. Under any circumstance. Without a doubt.
If your wife finds herself in a disagreement, or she feels misunderstood or under attack, have her back. It could involve a friend, your mother, her siblings, or a total stranger. It matters not if you agree, you still protect her heart. Make sure she can count on you to be the final stop when others try to tear her down. If you think she is being unreasonable, tell her gently when you are in private. Talk with her and share your feelings, but don’t humiliate her by doing so in front of others. She is your first priority, and if you guard her as you would a priceless treasure, you will discover precious intimacy and trust. She will respect your efforts and it will create an atmosphere of closeness.
Just knowing you are there for her, can make the difference between a full on melt down and total peace and clarity. You are her closest confidant and God declares you are one. That is why everything feels easier for her when she knows you will stand up for her. God has placed you in her life as an anchor that makes her feel secure in the middle of total chaos. Go ahead and say, “Don’t worry Dear, I’ve got your back no matter what.” You will see stars in her eyes if you look close enough.
Situations will arise that make her feel out of control and helpless. Remind her that anything that touches her has to go through you first. If necessary make it clear to others that this is the case. People need to know you are going to stand by your wife. This alone can remove some friction and turmoil in her world. It’s perfectly fine for you to fight some of her battles. Being a mother, a wife, a daughter, takes a lot of effort and she might be a little tired out. Rescue her every now and then. Rent a white horse and take her away to find some solace. She will know you care for her well being, and that will make her feel cherished.
Our culture tries to remove femininity from women. It tries to convince them that they should be some neutral being that is independent and self reliant. Women now feel they are weak if they need help. They are expected to fight all their own battles. What ever happened to chivalry? I say bring it back! I don’t want to be everything to everyone, and frankly, I am glad when my husband holds things at bay for me from time to time.
This idea that men shouldn’t protect their wives has been damaging to our society and goes against God’s character. How does God care for us? He swoops in and rescues us all of the time. He loves us in the face of daily betrayal. He is always on watch. His love is not conditional and doesn’t change with His emotions. He doesn’t leave us to fight through life alone. He stands up for us when nobody else will, and He loves us when we are far from lovable. He is so protective He even died for us. He is the Lion of Judah, and nobody messes with His bride.
Men, you’re natural at protecting, so I say go for it. Rediscover your inner warrior. Lay down your life, and stand up to those who want to bring your wife down. Stop passively looking on as she struggles. Put the remote down and kick some butt if need be. Your wife needs to know you are on her side, and her side alone.
She will adore you for it.
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