To the Wife Whose Husband Plays Pokémon Go…

To the wife whose husband plays pokemon go...To the wife whose husband plays Pokémon Go…

First off, I’m sorry.

None of us could have seen this coming. We could have done something to prevent it had we only known. Locked them up. Hid their phones. Gotten rid of our cell phone data plans. Moved to a hut somewhere without  the internet.

But alas, it’s too late. Your husband is now begging to go grocery shopping so he can stop and catch a Pikachu on the way. He’s sneaking out at 11 PM to ride bikes around town and catch characters with your little brother. The only way you get him to pay attention to you is by getting lucky enough to have a Pidgey appear on your face. You realize they aren’t responding to your conversation, only to turn around and find him running down the road to catch a rare, fictional creature.

But hey, at least he’s actually exercising now?…

So what do you do? Cut off his data? Make him sleep on the couch to wait for a Squirtle to appear in the still of the night? Hire someone to lead an intervention? Join him?

It depends on the severity of his addiction. And honestly, it might be too dangerous for me to make that decision for you. So I’ll just say this: you’re strong enough to make it through.

You’re strong enough to shrug it off instead of punching him in the Meowth and kicking him out when he decides that catching a wild Pidgey is more important than supporting you when YOU’RE IN LABOR.

PIdgey

That time my brother found a Pidgey on my sister-in-law’s behind

You’re valiant enough to smile as you accompany him to a Pokémon Go meet-up on your Saturday night.

You’re courageous enough to act like you care when he tells you he finally caught a Dratini.

Or when he asks you to drive slower than 20 MPH so he can try to fool the app into allowing him to play on the drive to lunch.

You’re brave enough to keep loving him despite the fact that you just saw $10 come out of your bank account and you’re pretty sure it was used to buy Pokécoins.

You’re fierce enough to say no when he announces you’re moving to the city because you don’t live near enough Pokéstops.

And my gosh, you’re tough enough to stick it out until this all blows over in a month and he never cares about it again.

But know this: I feel you. This is hard, but you aren’t alone. This. Too. Shall. Pass…

…right?

Please don’t come find me if it doesn’t.

Sincerely,
One Pokémoned-out Wife

P.S. If you’re reading all this and wondering, “what the heck is Pokémon Go?”, count yourself lucky. Go find your husband and hug him (after checking for the app on his phone, of course). And if you really want to know, here’s a good explanation.

Tayler Beede

Hello! I’m Tayler—wife to Kyle, follower of Jesus, and mama to Leo. My husband and I got married at 19. We’ve known each other since we were 14, began dating at 16, and were engaged at 18. Our story is a unique one, and it hasn't been all rainbows and glitter, but I am so thankful for the story God has written for our lives. You can read more about my story here.

Comments

  1. Mollee says

    Hahaha!! I love this. I decided to embrace it. I don’t care about Pokemon, but my husband does. So when he asked me if I wanted to play, and then downloaded the app on my phone before I even responded…. I went with it. You know what? It’s strangely just like any other game out there. I find it kind of fun!! So there ya have it.

  2. says

    The struggle is real. My husband doesn’t have a smartphone so he asked to use mine. I finally gave in and our evening walk around the neighborhood turned into mad sprint for pikachu. Let’s hope this phase passes soon!

  3. Briana says

    This family plays together as well. It’s too fun getting your kids off the couch with the console games, and running around the neighborhood or park or town square, looking for their next pokemon. #gottacatchemall!

  4. Sarah says

    My tech husband has found a way to play without the exercise! He said people are selling their accounts they build up for $100 or so. I’m so turned off and sick of this dumb game. Everytime I say something about the game, I get reminded that I’m on my phone all the time as well either texting, browsing the internet, reading, or FB. Hopeless.

  5. Kate says

    I actually am in labour in a few weeks and my husband has become distant beyond belief :’( I hate this stupid game. We live in the sticks and so he is desperate to hang around elsewhere away from his boring old pregnant wife. I hope desperately this game is a phase that passes…

  6. ColoredCupcake says

    I don’t get what’s so great about Pokemon Go! I’d rather play the actual games. All you do is collect them and feed them candy. Where’s the fun in that?? I mean come on, I’m a youngun but I can’t stand Pokemon Go. And screw you to the ones who play while you drive.

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