How to Be a Supportive Friend

This week we received several emails from struggling wives. All wives who are going through trials that seriously break my heart. Trials that I have no idea how to encourage them through. These are women, who, on the outside, would never appear to be going through such struggles.

Then I had a good friend unexpectedly break down while we were out for coffee. She’s going through things I never could have imagined. I felt so lame sitting there, clueless as to what had been going on—especially when she told me of how she’s been sitting at home crying because of how lonely she feels (lame friend award).

How was I so unaware of what she was going through? Yes, it’s up to her to decide what she does and doesn’t tell me, but I get so busy and forget to be a good friend, rather than just expecting my friends to be there for me.

This makes me wonder how many of the women I’m “friends” with are going through the same types of struggles. How many sit at home crying because they feel lonely? How many of them are afraid to open up to me?

Most of us don’t just open up to people for sheer enjoyment. I, for one thing, don’t. I don’t want to bombard anyone with a bunch of baggage they don’t want. I never want to be that friend.

This is why it’s necessary to ask.

Check in on your friends. Don’t give them the usual, “How’re you?” or “How was your weekend?” Ask things like “How can I help you?” “How can I pray for you?” and “What are you struggling with this week?” Chances are, this will give both of you the opportunity to open up. And when a good friend asks how you are, don’t give them the usual “I’m good, how are you?” Be open and honest with them.

We all face our own trials, but you’d probably be surprised by how many of those around you are going through the same things. As wives, we need to support each other through the tremendous struggles we face.

If you want to have supportive friends, be a supportive friend.

Ask other wives how you can pray for them. Be honest. Follow through when you say you’ll pray for them. Be there for them, even when they’re not asking you to. It’s so crucial.

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