Be Real with Him {Advice from My Bridal Shower}

At my bridal shower, strips of paper were laid out with notes for all of the wives to leave “advice for the bride.” I was blessed to be left with over 40 strips of paper with beautiful advice from so many wives. I’ve decided to start up a series and go through each of the pieces of advice I received. here is this week’s advice:

“Be real, if something is bothering you—say so! Always be open and honest with each other.”

Kyle often deals with me telling the “nothing” lie. You know, when he asks what’s wrong (because I’m being a total grouch) and I say, “nothing . . .” He usually sits there puzzled, since there’s something very clearly wrong. And quite honestly, what’s “wrong” is usually something miniscule and stupid, but it puts me in a terrible mood nonetheless.

When I think about it, it’s so stupid. Why wouldn’t I just tell him what’s wrong? Sometimes I’m in such a bad mood that I simply want to string him along. I want to prolong the pain. I want to guilt him. I want to make him ask, guess, and beg me to tell him what’s wrong. Sometimes I’m afraid of what he’ll say, I’m nervous he’ll think it’s stupid. And other times I know I’d have a hard time explaining what’s wrong.

No matter the situation, be honest

In any of these situations, it’s best to get it out on the open. If I’m simply being grouchy just so I can sulk in my grouchiness even longer, it’s time to snap myself out of it and start working towards figuring things out. When I’m nervous of what he’ll think, I need to understand that to be completely intimate and honest with each other, I have to open up to him even when I feel vulnerable. And when I’m not sure what to say, it’s time to start trying. Often times, I’ve found that just talking it out makes me feel so much better. And after all, he’s asking, so I’m not imposing on him.

The saddest part about the “nothing” lie is that the more you shoot down his attempt to hear what’s on your heart, the less he’ll ask. Don’t make him feel bad, awkward, or guilty for asking what’s wrong.

“Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.” —Proverbs 12:22

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